yep, I'm still here

a weblog by clay

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1. The best ideas are the ones blatently stolen from other successful webcomics or your favorite anime series. The webcomicking world can certainly use more comics based on two guys making cracks while playing video games, the wacky adventures of roommates, or anything with elves. Premises like these cannot possibly be overdone!

2. If you need a character, why not put yourself in? You can even do one better by giving yourself all the successes you never had in real life by putting the "you" you want to be, not the "you" you really are. This includes making yourself slim when you are fat, a full head of hair when you have none, speaking Japanese when you've barely mastered English, being popular with the othe sex when your experience with the other sex primarily consists of internet porn.

3. Promote the hell out of your comic when the only thing you have are some character sketches made on lined paper and a half-way decent CG. Make sure you put this CG in everything, so that anyone who visits your page can see the same picture several times without scrolling down. Also, if you visit a message board, make an ad for your sig that will not only be larger than the posts you make, but of a size that stretches the tables horizontally so that every thread you post on makes everyone have to use the bottom scroller to read from side to side.

4. Make a blog on your comic page. Make sure you talk about people you hate, and why everyone you know sucks, because this enhances popularity. Also go into chat rooms and plug every doodle you make and get pissy when no one compliments you.

5. When you have completed 1 actual comic, E-mail all the popular webcomic artists asking them to trade links. Call them all egotistical pricks when they don't comply.

6. When you have completed 2 actual comics, you are now officially allowed to complain verbally about your readers, or lack thereof. It is always a good way to get visitors by saying how your comic is much better than Penny Arcade and PvP, and why you don't understand why they are much popular than you. Blame the readers whenever possible, because guilt works.

7. When you have completed 3 actual comics, you are now officially allowed to create a Cafe Press store. Be sure to give your small readership a large variety of goods to choose from, by placing the half-way decent CG you made in #3 on every possible item. Naturally, you are allowed to complain on your blog when you don't sell anything.

8. When you have completed 4 actual comics, you are now officially allowed to create a Wikipedia entry about your comic -- don't leave it to a third party, after all, no one knows your comic better than you do! Put spoilers in it that haven't shown up in your comic yet (best to be prepared) and put far more effort into the character descriptions and plot than you did on your own page, since it will all end up there anyways when your comic is famous. Complain loudly when Wikipedia removes it due to it not being noteworthy, and compare them to Nazis.

9. When you have completed 5 actual comics, and you are not rich and famous yet, you are entitled to quit -- after all, if you've spent the time to create a web comic and after 5 comics have not attained the stature of MegaTokyo, well, what's the point? Instead of just quitting silently, make sure you leave in a blast of drama that will justify the time you spent making the comics and the Wikipedia entry.

10. Last of all, quit just before a story arc ends, leaving everyone who was following it from the beginning for the last six years feeling resentful for not having closure ... wait a second.

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Feeling a little put off about something?

Or does #10 mean another comic is possible...?

That was awesome.

It is good to see that you are still alive (and hopefully doing well)!!!

Ditto goes for most self promoting singer/songwriters out there. And DIY guitar pedal makers.

Shit, Clay, you've got the genre nailed.

Bitter? I hardly knew her!



Is this a game?

1. Megatokyo? Ctrl Alt Del?

2. Megatokyo? PVP?

3. Megatokyo?

4. Megatokyo!

5/6/7/8/9. ...Um.... Megatokyo when it was starting out?

10. Has Megatokyo ended? Awesome. Either that or this is you :P

1. I am by no means a fan of MT, but it was a pretty original concept when it first came out. That it got copied extensively is unfortnate. I am not knowledgeable about the CTRL ALT DEL / PVP thing, so I can't comment on it.

2. Although I can see how it would apply to MT and Penny Arcade, there are really way too many Mary Jane-type comics out there. I am not innocent in this area, after all I did do a comic called A Heart Made of Glass, although I did take the oppposite approach -- I made myself even more pathetic than I really am, an effort which is deserving of an award of some kind.

3 & 4. I definitely wasn't thinking of MT for these, especially the blog. Well, maybe a little.

5~9. No. Generally about 90% of Keenspace and Drunk Duck when it was first starting out.

10. I think the "Wait a second" is a big hint.

Where's your 6187 x 2769 animated banner?

You missed out the obligatory Star Wars parody strip.

You're right! I'm not guilty of that at all!

Okay buddy, I think you've had enough tonight...

I've actually not seen any webcomics with elves other than 8-bit theatre


2006-09-05 04:11 am (UTC)

I am guilty of... um... the tenth one. That's kind of it.

Proof that even if you don't do anything wrong, it's still possible to make a sucky-ass comic that nobody likes! Yaaaay!

Of course, I may not even be guilty of 10, because though I gave up in the middle of things (3 years, 336ish comics, none of them good), nobody ever actually read mine, so I disappointed nobody. Yaaaay!

Re: I've actually not seen any webcomics with elves other than 8-bit theatre


2006-09-05 09:21 am (UTC)

I've actually not seen any webcomics with elves other than 8-bit theatre

Are your eyeballs broken?

What's really disheartening is that I did the first two, and was pretty open about it being a big rip-off, and I still got called "original".

I even used MS Paint. I mean, what more do people want?

If my 8 years of doing webcomics has any bearing, I think they want your SOUL.

Where's the mention of needing to have stick figure filler comics, usually done by some t-shirt guy?

Obviously 10 tips are not enough, because I forgot to include this as well as using sprites from videogames to compensate for a lack of artistic ability.

That was really hilarious

and ending on a tip that is self-deprecating shows your not a prick

I def miss your comic, but your livejournal provides nearly as much entertainment

You're right -- Tip #10 doesn't reveal that I'm a prick, but the other nine tips do.

Amen to #10.

But as I've always said, you do this for yourself... and we're just lucky enough that you share it with us. When it's no longer fun (as long as it's not your job), you SHOULD stop.

.... but I don't have to LIKE it. :-)

I've often maintained that if you are capable of not making art, you should not make art.


You should rant share your vast knowledge more often.

ITS SO SIMPLE!!!! Why didn't I think of doing it?!?

Dangit, now I feel kinda bad since my four year stretch of webcomicing involved tips #1 and on a couple of occasions #2.

I almost pulled a #10 but I posted on my forum how the comic was supposed to end.

Anways it's nice to see you posting on LJ again, Clay.

Now I must make a webcomic. Two friends, that drive Dodge Vipers and sleep with a different super-model every night.

I'll be the coolest kid on the block.


Wait a sec, that may actually BE interesting.

Great Ideas!! I've got a great idea about a guy who is slowly being driven crazy by his roommate's constant masturbation. I just need to find some artist to crank out a couple drawings while I get my ducks all in a row.

want to trade links?

(good to see you, by the way)

I'm guessing #10 is Avalon and Two Eighty?

I thought that putting "wait a second" after the tip would make it obvious who I was referring to, but I guess not.

Ha ha, that's hilarious.

I've been thinking of starting a webcomic myself actually. But it's hard to come up with a good concept that hasn't been done 30 million times. I have a storyline done, but I'm not going to promote some deadbeat thing, especially seeing as I can't afford the webspace (lol.)

I'm assuming the last one was actually a bit of a shot towards yourself. And if it is, don't worry, You have a strong gorup of fans that support you and understand. If I'm wrong, feel free to let me know.

Wait, so you mean my comic about a roving band of Bell Peppers taking revenge on fajita-eaters was unique?

DUDE When are you gonna finish Little White Lie? >=O

Right after Sexy Losers.

You forgot to mention that sprite comics are always win, for all those people who can't draw but have great ideas that they need to inflict on everyone. Well, I guess sprites could be included as part of #1.

I did a guest comic for a friend once, and that was enough to convince me to never do a webcomic. Took me hours and hours to come up with a really, really, really bad guest strip. I feel really bad that he put it up. =(


Does this go to all of those crappy-ass writers/artists who think they're awesome even though NOBODY LIKES THEIR STUFF too? I hope so. They're taking up way too much bandwidth.

Who's this "A" you mentioned in your first sentence and how can I get her phone number?

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